Sometimes He Calms the Storm"

It's 3:00 a.m. and I woke up after a 3 or 4 hour "nap" with the need to put on paper (e-paper, I suppose) how I've been dealing with the fiery darts raining down on our family.  The song lyrics below are SO appropriate for the storm we've been through the last several days.  This could possibly be a long post, so apologies in advance for those who get bored easily :)  If you've never heard this tune by Scott Krippayne, I hope you'll be encouraged by the words.  Above is a link to a video, so you can actually hear it and hopefully you can apply this to your own life and understand from this post, why it gives me such comfort.
Lyrics, with my comments...

All who sail the sea of faith 

Find out before too long 

How quickly blue skies can grow dark 

And gentle winds grow strong

Suddenly fear is like white water 

Pounding on the soul 

Still we sail on knowing 

That our Lord is in control

Sometimes He calms the storm 

With a whispered peace be still 

He can settle any sea 

But it doesn't mean He will 

Sometimes He holds us close 

And lets the wind and waves go wild 

Sometimes He calms the storm 

And other times He calms His child 

He has a reason for each trial 

That we pass through in life 

And though we're shaken 

We cannot be pulled apart from Christ

No matter how the driving rain beats down 

On those who hold to faith 

A heart of trust will always 

Be a quiet peaceful place

Sometimes He calms the storm 

With a whispered peace be still 

He can settle any sea 

But it doesn't mean He will 

Sometimes He holds us close 

And lets the wind and waves go wild 

Sometimes He calms the storm 

And other times He calms His child 

And Sometimes He calms the storm

Sometimes He calms the storm

And other times He calms His child 

A few weeks ago, after about 4-5 days of hosting our "guests", 6 at that time , I was getting ready for bed.  I was so happy that tears of joy were flowing down my face because we were sailing the sea of faith and my happiness was so full that my heart felt it had increased in size, just like the fabled "Grinch".  Finally, we were submitting to God's will and embarking on a journey that was completely and utterly controlled by what God has been asking Frank and I to do for several years.  As I fluffed my pillows, I told Frank that I was so happy and full of love that I couldn't contain it.  Frank told me "Baby, I know you're happy and that's awesome, because I wasn't sure how you were going to handle this.  But when they hurt you or disappoint you, and they will, please remember how you feel tonight".

I already felt true Christian love for all of them.  You'll learn more about each of them in future posts, but tonight (or this morning if I'm being technical), I want to focus on my friend, our third guest, .  In such a very short time, the Lord filled my heart with love for these people, whose circumstances are less than ideal.  I feel so strongly that the Lord has a purpose in sending us people who just need to be loved on and shown what real Christian love looks like.  We had already begun integrating them into our family.  Hugging and saying "I Love You", became the norm.

"No. 3" (hereafter referred to as Three is a recovered drug addict (crack), who has also spent some time in jail for theft - it should be noted that at the time, she was living on the streets, even though she grew up, here in Albemarle.  She had been a "long termer" at the local shelter.  From the very beginning, she has been honest with me about her past and explained the that the theft was perpetrated in order to feed and clothe her "adult" children and grandchildren.  Although she understands that what she did was wrong, both in the eyes of the law and the eyes of God, and has repented of her sin, she wanted me to know the reason she did this.

For 3 weeks, as we stepped out of the boat, on faith, and opened our hearts and home, our entire family embraced what we were doing and helped to make them all feel like family.  Now we all know that our family members can cut us deep and quick, much more so that our friends or mere acquaintances.   Three's boyfriend, "No.4" (you get the idea), who is also our guest, has seen so much tragedy in his life - his 18 year old daughter as well as his beloved niece, both died around a year ago - I'm not quite sure how, as I don't ask probing questions - I listen (which God, in His Grace, has taught me to do) and talk to them about whatever portions of their past lives they want to share. Four also has cancer in his spine and had just started having a series of 7 shots in his back once a week, with an experimental drug, which has shrunk the cancer from the size of a half dollar to the size of a quarter.  Our church family had been praying for him, as the shots are very painful and leave him in huge amounts of pain afterward, with nothing given to him for pain relief.  We found out last week that he no longer needs the shots, but will instead be taking the drug in pill form once a week.  Prayers really do work!  Three and Four work 6 days a week, painting houses for a local subcontractor, who picks them up at the shelter after breakfast and takes them to the job sites, feeds them lunch and brings them back to the shelter for supper.  These are hard working people, who work through the emotional, spiritual and physical pain in their lives.  They have a plan to get a place of their own and have contributed $20 to our food fund every time they are paid weekly.

Things were going great.  The household was running smoothly, which helps ME physically, spiritually and emotionally.  But, this past Friday, the

blue skies grew dark nd the gentle winds grew strong. 

 I have a "chore board" for lack of a better term, which lists certain things that need to be done - things I'm physically unable to do myself.  It started out as a reminder to our adult kids living here that they needed to contribute to the running of the household, as we don't require them to pay rent.  I had "Sweep and Mop Porch" (our screened in haven) on the board most of last week.  On Friday night at 10 pm, I found Three mopping the porch, after working a full day in the hot sun.  Her words were a bit slurred but I chalked it up to exhaustion from the full week she had put in doing what most would consider "men's work".  I told her to let it be, we would catch it the next day, but she said "it's been on the board for 3 days and hasn't been done, so I'm going to do it for you".  With a grateful heart, I went into the living room to visit a bit with our family and other guests.  Three fell on her hip while she was mopping - she has arthritis in that hip.  She told me she needed to go to the ER and get something for pain relief.  Sarah, my daughter in love, who will marry my son, Andy in September, took her to the ER and I watched our granddaughter, Maddy - I had been put on a Fentanyl pain patch that very afternoon and was forbidden to drive for 72 hours until I could see how the new med would affect my motor skills and reflexes.  Although I knew Three was in good hands,

suddenly fear was like white water

pounding on my soul, 

till I sailed on knowing 

that our Lord was in control.

Thirty minutes after Sarah left, she was back.  Three had registered at the ER and then fell in the waiting room.  She told Sarah she was feeling better and just wanted to come home and go to bed.  Sarah is 18, and brought her home, but when she arrived, she came to me and Frank to let us know that she thought Three was "on something" because she passed out in the car, even burning herself with a cigarette and not noticing.  Frank went down to the car and ended up having to carry her like a sack of potatoes over his shoulder up 2 flights of stairs to her bedroom.  We talked, as a family, an extended family - all of us, monitored her pulse and breathing and I began clearing off her bed to make room for her feet.  As I did this, I found a prescription bottle with her name on it, filled the day before, for heavy duty Xanax, which on the street are called "bars".  Now I take a lot of meds, but my Xanax is .25 mg.  This RX indicated a dosage of one bar three times per day.  Three is a little bitty thing and I checked the contents of the bottle - there were 5 left out of those dispensed the day before.  I panicked.  We all talked and decided we had no way of knowing where the remaining pills were - did she take them all and was overdosed?  She seemed so happy, no way, I thought.  But I sensed she had probably either sold some or given them away.  About this time, Three fell out of bed and hit her head on the nightstand.  The biggest "goose egg" I had ever seen immediately formed on her forehead.  Although we knew this could end badly, with a psych consult and possible involuntary admission to the hospital's 3rd floor, we had no choice but to take her back to the ER, for her own safety.

Frank, Robbie and I put her in the van and took her at midnight to the local ER.  At this point, she was totally unresponsive to any of us.  I checked her in and gave the bottle to the triage nurse.  Through all this, surprisingly, I remained calm.  The storm was all around me, but God was calming me, His child, so that I could handle the crisis with logic and peace.  The ER staff was wonderful, I can't say enough good things about the way they treated Three, this woman I've come to love dearly.  After about 2 hours, the nurse told us that it would be several more hours before they were able to evaluate her medically, when she was able to be lucid and coherent, once the drugs in her system wore off.  I was adamant that in 3 weeks, I had never smelled alcohol, weed or any substance on her and that this was the first time I had ever seen her impaired in any way - in other words, this was NOT a pattern.  We left the ER around 2:30 to get some sleep, knowing  she was in good hands and we would be called when they moved her to ICU, which was probable, since a Xanax overdose suppresses a person's breathing and they must be monitored closely.

As I've mentioned, we are a FAMILY, which means we were all up early on Saturday, anxious to find out how she was doing and go see her.  A nurse in ICU was very helpful, calling me to update me on her condition. Sarah drove me to pick up Three's daughter, (who quite possibly will be the subject of my next post) and Four.  I took her some pajamas, a robe, a toiletry bag and a recovery Bible).  I felt sure she would be kept involuntarily for at least 3 days.  When we arrived, she was asleep, but woke easily and was lucid and aware, and extremely contrite.  I prayed with her for a while and then left Four with her, to come back and try to take a nap (which I never did) - it would be later that day before we knew what decision the attending psychologist would make.  She admitted to bad judgment, taking one full bar before she began to mop and another after she fell. She and I had discussed having the dosage lowered and she was going to talk to the doctor about it.  She also said that she had not had her meds for over 4 weeks and because all of her pills had been stolen once before, she had given some to a friend to hold on to, to prevent the same thing happening. 

3 years ago, I would have been stressed, worried, pacing, trying to "fix things".  Instead, I understood that 

He has a reason for each trial hat we pass through in life

and was comforted throughout the day that this was another growth opportunity, both for my family and for Three.  Around 6 pm, I received a call, that she was being released.  Because this was an honest mistake and her psychiatric interview went well, she was able to come home!  However, the nurse told me, as the responsible party, that she DID test positive for cocaine and that this test would show usage for approximately 30-45 days.  Three has been with us 3 weeks - I knew I had seen no obvious signs of cocaine usage during that time.  We picked her up and brought her home.  She was so embarrassed and apologetic and of course, I had already forgiven her.  But I did need to do some "straight talking".  Now, I don't do "tough love" well, but in this circumstance, I had to try.  I loved on her, got her settled and we began to talk.  When I told her she tested positive for Cocaine, she swore to me that she had not touched it since she had been here, actually for at least 4 weeks, since she began going to our church and learning about God's grace and His son, Jesus Christ.  I felt that our storm was passing and that 

no matter how the driving rain beat down, (literally at this point)

on those who hold to faith, 

 a heart of trust will always
be a quiet peaceful place.

Three dmitted to me that about 5 weeks ago, she had used cocaine, but since she and Four had found each other, she had been so happy, and she refused to mess things up with him, or with her living arrangements here and her plans for the future. I believe her.  We spent the rest of the evening talking peacefully and rejoicing that she was home.

On Sunday, Three, Four and her daughter and grandson attended church with us again.  The sermon, as always, was awesome and spoke to our hearts.  It was the first Sunday of June, and we always partake in the Lord's Supper on the first Sunday of the month.  I use the time when everyone is being served to lift my prayers to heaven, usually for a specific person.  As I held the elements in my hand while others were served, my head bowed, I prayed that Three would accept Jesus as her Saviour and never let the plate pass her by again.  We had a wonderful covered dish and program for our graduates after the service.  When the service was over, my body yielded to the exhaustion from the past 48 hours and I was forced to go to bed and sleep 6 hours.  When I woke, I came out to the screened porch where everyone was gathered.  Still rather groggy, I watched our son, Robert, go over to her, hug her and say "I just want to welcome you into God's family".  I was confused and asked what was going on.  Frank said I had missed quite a bit of profound things going on while I slept.  I asked Heidi what happened.  She said "I talked with the preacher for over an hour and I accepted Christ.  I'm going to be baptized and speak to the elders about joining the church."  With tears of joy, once again streaming down my face, I got up and hugged her close, told her I loved her and how God had answered the prayers I was sending up during communion.  How awesome is our God, who uses situations to "work all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose"?

So, as He calmed His child, me, He also settled the sea - He did both this past weekend.  I'm learning that I am not in control of anything, but I CAN be an instrument which God uses to lead His children to the Cross.  As the song says, He may do one or the other, which He did on Friday and Saturday, but if He chooses, He can and does do both!  Thank you, my dear heavenly Father, for bringing Three into my life and assuring her of a place in the Kingdom of Heaven.  All praise and glory belong to You!

Until next time, God's peace  be with you in the middle of your storms.  Listen and He will calm you, His child, and He just might calm the storm as well.

Tracy